Hello, I just got out of Jail, Please help me get connected back to this WORLD..?

So I went to jail in may 17 1995 when i was 20 years old... (I'M NOT TELLING YOU THE REASON.)

And I just got out 1 week ago on 07/07/2011...am 37 Years old NOW...

Luckily I have almost already got back my life... Or better said, am building up my whole new life...

I got a job, I got my Drivers License., and I got a girlfriend! :) ..... BUT I AM COMPLETLY DISCONNECTED FROM THIS WORLD, THERE IS MANY NEW THINGS THERE WASN'T ON 1995

AND I FEEL VERY EMBARRASED WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT SOMETHINGS ARE OR DO!

I JUST STARTED USING THIS INTRANET,.... THERES ALSO THIS NEW WITHOUT WIRE TELEPHONES, SOME OF THEM ARE TO TOUCHABLES, MINI FLAT TVS!!!!, FINALLY THOUSANDS OF NEWS I DONT KNOW~!!!!!



PLEASE EVERY BODY TELL ME WHATS NEW!!! WHAT IS THE FASHION, WHAT HAS CHANGED!!!!! WARN ME OF BAD THINGS, TELL ME!Hello, I just got out of Jail, Please help me get connected back to this WORLD..?
Okay, cell phones are like 2 ounces now and you can text (on it, which is to type a message and send it. (WIRELESS!!!)



There are video games with awesome graphics and motion sensors (X Box 360) Play call of duty and black ops (PC games too)



Computers now weigh less than a ton and take up much less room. (more programs and better)



T.V.s are flat screen (plasma) and they aren't black and white and there aren't flickers on the screen.



There are more shows and movies (better quality and just plain better)



And music... okay lets just say some are good and some are bad.



Everything is much more advanced and better...Hello, I just got out of Jail, Please help me get connected back to this WORLD..?
Justin BieberHello, I just got out of Jail, Please help me get connected back to this WORLD..?
Instead of OJ Simpson, we now have Casey Anthony



Doom has been replaced by Call of Duty



The Foo Fighters still sound the same.



Cell phones now weigh less than five pounds.



Guys pick up women on dating websites instead of bars now. (With more success)



If you can't pass the test, the schools will make the test easier until you pass now.



Real TV shows have been replaced with "reality TV" which is a bunch of idiots getting paid to do very pointless activities.



Pop music is 1,000 times worse, don't waste your time on it.
Art : Apparently there is an artist who paints her pictures by puking coloured milk.



Music: We now have aliens making music....1 of such musician is called gaga.



Music genre: New music genres include - post hardcore, ScreamO, techno screamO, alien pop.



Music videos: Now a form of porn.



Singer: We now have hermaphrodite singers such as Justin Bieber.



Computers: We dun have Pentium 1 or 2 anymore. The latest/or the ones that u have missed are - pentium 3/4, dual core, quad core duo, i3, i5, i7.



Pads: Now we have a bigger version of latest touch screen cell phone. Apparently u can do almost anything with them. Like browsing, play games etc. Samsung galaxy tab and Ipad are examples.



Science: We now have the technology to move particles at light speed. Currently we r trying to recreate the black whole using the "Large hadron collider".



Politics: Laden is dead, Americans killed it. The new president Obama said that America can accomplish anything if they want it. The president also added that the world is a better place now that Laden is dead since it was the greatest threat knwn to America. He, however, forgot to mention the bigger threat to the rest of the world, that is America itself , since its continuously buttering wars, and killing for oil.



Games: Now there are things called online games! You can play them with other people accross the world using ur net. Many of them a free to play. Games now r in 3D.



Gaming systems: Now there r XBOX 360, Play station 3 (with incredible graphics! Almost seems real), Play station Portable (PSP), Nintendo ds.



Hardware: There r now things called pen drives (small memory sticks), Cds, Blue-ray discs.



Fashion: Apparently keeping ur hair long and having bangs and dying it black is called being Emo.



Girls: Now days more and more girls r doing plastic surgery to make their boobs/butts bigger and proving themselves sluttier.



hmmm wat else ... : / ....there r way too many!!....maybe ask ur girl frnd?