Any suggestions on my Photography personal statement?

the intro isnt finished as i dont know what else to say.



Three people, two cameras but there is only one camera which is paying attention, truly capturing how the elderly couple in front are bickering with their permanent frowns or how the man beside the bench is replicating the tree. You would think that taking photos is very easy; just a simple click of the camera.



From contacting the Jersey Gallery Magazine I asked if I could help out with the fashion photography shoot by assisting the photographer. I got to see behind the scenes of fashion photography. This insight helped me to see a different path one could pursue photography. I have also entered the monthly photo competition where my photo has been displayed in the magazine along with 3 of my other photos which boosted my confidence and I am sure that in the future I will enter more competitions to see how far my photos can get; even though I did not win I was very pleased that they displayed my work. One of my final pieces for AS also got chosen for an exhibition in the Jersey library and which I was very pleased with. I am also doing some work experience by assisting a professional photographer in the UK, London on March 7th 2011 for a week at Creekside Studios. The work I will be doing here is part of a scheme which will be in the Guinness World Book of records. From this experience I hope to gain further insight to the world of Photography.



I also study French at school where we speak out loud to the class in French expressing our opinions about an article or essay question. This has given me confidence as a speaker as well as listener as my peers and I discuss the different ideas for the given work. This will help me towards studying Photography at University because I feel I am confident in conveying my thoughts and converting them into writing.

I am particularly inspired by the photography agency Magnum. I have fallen in love with many of the photographer鈥檚 photos especially the works of Martin Parr for his unusual photos and vibrant colour. I feel I can relate to these photographers and I enjoy doing responses to their work in particular in class. In AS we have done projects on Portraiture and Landscape. I particularly enjoyed portraiture taking both formal and candid photos. I enjoy taking candid photos in a similar style to Henri-Cartier-Bresson with the black and white look and making formal photos as I very much enjoy making characters and dressing my models up in detail.





Out of school I have responsibilities which include my part time job on Saturdays where I am a shop assistant at Linnea of Sweden which sells Swedish household items for your home, as only one person at a time can work there it鈥檚 a big responsibility to look after it by myself. I also have to be very reliable or there is no-one to open the shop. My job consists of me responding to customers needs, creating the layout of the shop, using the till, answering the telephone and helping customers. This job has made me a very independent person, I also enjoy horse riding which I do every other day and is a big commitment but has been a hobbie which I have done since I was 6.

I have also taught myself to play the guitar. I feel that this is an accomplishment that took a lot of time and commitmentAny suggestions on my Photography personal statement?
This may not be what you want to hear, but I really think you should condense this down. I think you should get to the point faster. Try coming up with a thesis as in what you are going to cover, and then go into further detail of those topics you are going to talk about.



As I was reading I felt you went into too much detail, we don't need to know you can speak French, just say you are good at conveying what you would like to get across in both writing and speech; we also don't need to know exact dates. I really did love your first paragraph, definitely keep that!



I hope I helped! If you rewrite it let me know, I'll be happy to read it again! (:Any suggestions on my Photography personal statement?
What exactly are you asking? Is the enormous detail body the personal statement? Because to be honest, I really found it hard to muster the will to read it. My suggestion, make it short.Any suggestions on my Photography personal statement?
What will you be using this "statement" for?